12 August 2026
When a relationship ends, there can be a lot to sort out. For some couples, this may involve deciding where children will spend their time. For others, there may be disagreements about the family home, savings, pensions or other finances.
It is not always easy to reach an agreement, particularly when emotions are running high. However, going straight to court is not the only option.
Family mediation can provide a way for separating couples to work through disagreements with the help of an independent professional. In other situations, court proceedings may be necessary.
Understanding the difference between the two can help you decide what approach may be appropriate for your circumstances.
What is family mediation?
Family mediation is a process where an independent, trained mediator helps you and your former partner discuss the issues you need to resolve.
The mediator does not take sides or make decisions for you. Instead, they help you communicate, identify the areas of disagreement and explore possible solutions.
Mediation can be used to discuss matters such as:
Mediation can take place face-to-face or remotely, and you do not necessarily have to be in the same room as your former partner.
Do you have to try mediation before going to court?
In many family cases, you will usually need to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) before making an application to court.
A MIAM is an initial meeting with a qualified mediator. They will explain how mediation works, discuss your circumstances and consider whether mediation could be suitable.
Importantly, attending a MIAM does not mean you have to go on to mediation. There are also circumstances where you may be exempt from attending a MIAM, including certain cases involving domestic abuse, urgency or concerns about a child's safety.
How much does mediation cost?
The cost of mediation varies depending on the mediator and how many sessions are needed.
A MIAM is normally charged separately, with GOV.UK currently giving an approximate cost of £120 per person. You may not have to pay if you or your former partner is eligible for legal aid.
There is also a Family Mediation Voucher Scheme, which can provide up to £500 towards the cost of mediation in eligible cases. The Government confirmed in May 2026 that the scheme has been extended for another year.
Mediation will not necessarily resolve every dispute, but it can be a more cost-effective option than lengthy contested court proceedings.
What does going to court involve?
If you cannot reach an agreement, you may need to ask the family court to make a decision.
Court proceedings can involve applications, written evidence, hearings and, depending on the circumstances, several stages before a final decision is reached.
The court will consider the evidence and make an order. In cases involving children, their welfare is the court's paramount consideration.
Court proceedings can therefore provide a clear and legally binding outcome where parents or former partners cannot agree.
However, they can also take time and become expensive, particularly where there are complex financial or child arrangement disputes.
Court fees are only part of the cost
There are fees payable when making certain applications to the family court. These are separate from the legal costs of instructing a solicitor.
Following changes introduced in July 2026, for example, the fee for an application for a financial order is £321, while an application relating to child arrangements under the relevant Children Act provisions is £270.
However, the court fee is only one part of the potential cost. Legal fees, expert reports and the preparation required for hearings can add considerably to the overall expense of contested proceedings.
This is one reason why exploring whether an agreement can be reached away from court can be worthwhile.
Which option is quicker?
There is no guaranteed timescale for either route, as every family is different.
Mediation can often be arranged relatively quickly because you are not waiting for a court hearing. If both people are willing to participate, matters may be resolved over a small number of sessions.
Court proceedings can take considerably longer, particularly where there are several issues to resolve or the case requires multiple hearings.
The availability of court hearings and the complexity of the dispute can have a significant impact on how long a case takes.
Who makes the final decision?
This is one of the biggest differences between mediation and court. With mediation, you remain in control of the decision. The mediator helps you and your former partner find an agreement but does not decide what should happen.
With court proceedings, the judge makes the decision if you cannot reach an agreement. For some families, being able to work together on an arrangement can make it easier to move forward, particularly where parents will need to continue communicating and co-parenting for many years.
Is a mediated agreement legally binding?
Not automatically. Mediation can help you reach an agreement, but depending on what you have agreed, further legal steps may be needed to make it formally binding.
For example, where financial matters have been agreed, your solicitor can advise you about putting the agreement into a consent order and asking the court to approve it. This can provide greater certainty and ensure the agreement is legally enforceable.
When might court be more appropriate?
Mediation is not suitable for every situation.
Court proceedings may be necessary where:
If you have concerns about your safety or the safety of your children, it is important to seek legal advice before deciding how to proceed.
What if we cannot agree?
Not reaching an agreement through mediation does not mean you have failed. Sometimes, despite everyone's best efforts, an agreement simply cannot be reached.
You may be able to explore other forms of dispute resolution, such as solicitor-led negotiations or collaborative law, before considering court proceedings. Where these options are not appropriate or have not worked, court may be the next step.
Getting the right advice
There is no single approach that will work for every separating couple. The right option will depend on your circumstances, the issues you need to resolve, your ability to communicate with your former partner and whether there are any concerns about safety or financial transparency.
Getting legal advice early can help you understand your options before matters become more complicated.
Our experienced Family Law team can advise you on mediation, negotiations and court proceedings, helping you understand the options available and what may be most appropriate for your circumstances.
We support clients across Dorset, including Bournemouth, Poole, Christchurch and Highcliffe.
If you are separating and need advice about children, finances or property, contact our Family Law team on 01202 294411 or contact us through our website to arrange a confidential consultation: Contact Us AB Solicitors For Your Legal Needs
